the onion

This is fake. Which I know because I spent more time than that talking about myself last week. Did I even tell you guys what happened to me last week? Well, not to me. But to my friend. Her name is Carrie. Which is very similar to my name. Actually my parents were going to name me Carrie. But I have a cousin named Caroline and they didn't want to confuse anyone. I think Carly works better anyway. But when I was younger I wished my name was Caroline. I used to write that on my papers even though it's not my name. And I made people call me Caroline, which got confusing whenever my cousin was around. One time– oh, sorry, I'm getting a phone call. It's probably my salon. I'm getting my haircut tomorrow. Well, just a trim. I have a lot of split ends. I'll tell you about it later.

[via VVV]

"It will give you experience for if you happen to have a problem like this later in life," former queen Savanna Steed said with a smile. "You already have the experience of riding a stick horse!"

Horse herpes: useful for later in life.

[KSL via The Daily What]

"Two Bangladeshi newspapers have apologised after publishing an article taken from a satirical US website which claimed the Moon landings were faked," reported BBC News earlier today.

The "satirical US website" in question is The Onion, well-known to most Americans, but apparently not to members of Bangladesh's news media elite.

The Onion first posted the story — "Conspiracy Theorist Convinces Neil Armstrong Moon Landing Was Faked" — on Monday, and the Bangladeshi newspapers ran it on Thursday.  They realized they were idiots on Friday.

I couldn't figure out how to translate the article into Bangla (the official language of Bangladesh), but I was able to translate it into Hindi — an extremely similar language by Red State American standards.

Look how confusing this shit is!!  Can you blame them for screwing it up???  I can't tell if this article is a joke or serious or a cricket match recap or what?!  I'm amazed they even came close!

Ever think that Google knows way too much about you and your information?  Good news!  You can simply opt out by moving to a remote village that Google built!  Story from The Onion below:

[The Onion via UniqueDaily]

Today, Farrah Fawcett died of cancer. Like a responsible news organization, The Onion quickly micro-blogged the news:

It set off a chain-reaction of ?too soon? @replies from many of The Onion?s 1 million followers. Bornfamous said, ?Is that supposed to be funny? Because it's not.? Lkdellatorre said, ?Unfollowing @TheOnion for their deplorable jab at Farrah. Dudes, the day of her death? Seriously? I'm speechless, and that's saying a lot.? And bradcarlson said ?Big fan of The Onion, but they just crossed the line.?

Seriously, guys. At least include the cause of death.

Chris Dahlen, a contributor for The Onion A.V. Club classed it up with a tweet of his own:

[via maubrowncow]