the situation

Until watching this preview for the second season of Jersey Shore I never realized how many similarities the MTV phenom had with Tosh.0. Based solely on the clip above I've come up with the following list of themes shared between the two shows:

Homoerotic behavior, drinking, fighting, nudity, ball jokes, sex jokes, people in hot tubs, people falling, people needing redemption, bad sound effects, feelings being hurt, vaginas being hurt, and, finally, people angrily slurring, "After I had sex with Vinnie you had sex with Vinnie!?"

The Situation is releasing a rap song available on iTunes this week and TMZ has a preview clip for your listening pleasure(?).

The first time I saw him on the Jersey Shore I said, 'Yeah, he's got abs and an ego the size of a humpback whale but can he SING?!?' Luckily, the reality gods have blessed me with an answer to my query. And that answer is…maybe?

I can't actually tell which "voice" is his in this "song" but I can tell that it is really, really bad. If you don't feel like clicking on over to TMZ, I'll share some lyrics here.

We got a situation. Woah, woah, The Situation. Woah, woah, The Situation. Woah, woah, The Situation. Woah, woah, The Situation. Woah, woah, The Situation. Let's go! Woah, woah, The Situation. The motherf'ing situation.

Woah, woah… You get the idea.

[via TMZ]

It's kind of like the original, Selleck Waterfall Sandwich, except there is absolutely no body hair and a much more obvious sexual innuendo.

What the innuendo is I can't possibly imagine. But I'm sure there is one.

This is a photo from Interview Magazine's Jersey Shore photo shoot. If you're interested in reading the guys' interview, click here. As a teaser I'll tell you that The Situation likens his popularity to that of The Beatles two times. Twice.

Anyway, look at that supermodel eating that giant phallic shaped thing all those carbs!

Sunset Daze premieres April 28th on the WE channel and I strongly advise you to clear up the night. I'll probably be hosting a premiere party at my apartment if you want to come. Because this show? Is going to be awesome.

It centers around a group of 60 and 70 year olds living in a retirement community in Arizona. According to NY Daily News "Viewers can expect steamy scenes in Jacuzzis, a wild night out at a gay rodeo and makeout sessions during happy hour." And don't worry, there's old people sex talk. One lady "dishes on her favorite sex toy". Who she calls Bob, for "Battery Operated Boyfriend."

I was getting tired of Snooki and The Situation with their tight abs and their poofy hairstyles anyway. I think it's time to let the elderly show those whippersnappers how it's done.

Sure, there will be hot tubs and alcohol. But no GTL for these folks. It's all about MRB on Sunset Daze. Meds, Reading, Backgammon, baby.

Ben's Biz Blog on MiLB.com reports that this summer the Short-Season Single A Brooklyn Cyclones (though a fun team, pretty much the bottom of the minor league baseball barrel) will be having a Jersey Shore-themed night featuring none other than The Situation!

Citing the club's press release, Ben writes:

"On Wednesday, July 21, the Brooklyn Cyclones will be hosting 'Jersey? Sure!' Night – paying homage to a pop-culture phenomenon….  In addition, the Cyclones are offering a try-out to a popular MTV star…inviting The Situation to make his dreams come true by taking batting practice and ground ball drills with the team."

Holy cow!  First, guest appearances on Leno and Kimmel, then an appearance on The View, and now taking batting practice with a Single A Minor League Baseball team!  Can life get any better than that?!

Let's just hope The Situation gets caught on tape botching some easy grounders so we have a reason to bring him in for a Web Redemption.  Not that we have Short-Season Single A Minor League Baseball type money or anything.  But we could try.

The cast of Jersey Shore has taken over our televisions, our minds, and now our Internet. I hope you are sitting down. (Who reads this blog standing up?) Because all your dreams are about to come true!

Finally! You can see what you would look like ?jerzified." Sure, you can move there, get the tan, the body, and the accent. But as a quicker, more dignified, and less risky alternative, you can simply Jerzify Yourself!

Upload a picture, choose a pose and scene and watch as the face your mother gave you is cropped onto a body no mother could love.

That?s me up there, ?jerzified." I look AWESOME. Now it?s your turn to Jerzify Yourself. I?d like to see all your photos but I don?t have time. As The Situation would say, G.T.L., baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry.

[via BuzzFeed]

I love Jersey Shore; I don't care who knows it. You couldn't write the things that come out of these guys' mouths. And having children reenact those words is almost as funny as the people who originally said them. So take a minute to watch our tiny JS friends repeat some of the amazing lines first uttered by the full-sized versions. Kids Guidos say the darndest things!

And if you want more JS actions, just check out their Twitter accounts. The laughs never end.

On Twitter: The Situation, Snookie, Pauly D, JWoWW, Vinnie

[video via Dlisted]