time travel

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[via Happy Place]

It was Marty McFly all along!

That's how the intruder got away despite leaving behind his T-shirt and fingerprints…  Time travel!

That doesn't sound too "dumb" to me.  Sounds like the perfect crime.  Someone run and tell Antoine Dodson that no one beats Marty McFly!

[via The Daily What]

Yesterday, Stephen Hawking had an article published in the UK's Mail Online entitled "How to build a time machine." (Probably to help promote his new Discovery show "Stephen Hawking's Universe."  That son of a bitch has always been such a sell out.)

Now, you could go read his long, dense article.  That's what I did.  And I understood every word.  That's why I am qualified to explain it to you.

You see, though possible, it isn't plausible.  For his version, "All you need is a wormhole, the Large Hadron Collider or a rocket that goes really, really fast."  Yeah, getting those things is a pain in the ass.  Trust me.

Instead, try my abridged version: All you need is a dark closet, a copy of Pink Floyd's Ummagumma (the Live album part, not the bullshit Studio album part) and about 50 grams of DMT.

Back in time you go.  Don't forget to tell the dinosaurs I said hi, jerks.

[via The Daily What]

Someone over on Reddit posed a very interesting question: "If we could transmit a single, 140 character message back to the year 2000, what should it be?"

As you can see above, it generated a ton of responses.  I'll let you go over to Reddit to check out all the wonderful suggestions for yourself.

But I'll let you in on a little secret.  As many of you know, I work for Hollywood.  I'm what that town calls an "insider."  I hear all the gossip waaay before all you schlubs do.  I spit on your copy of Variety!

Anyway, I've heard that this is the plot of the next Terminator movie: Terminator 5: Rise of the Tweets!  Instead of sending a Terminator back in time, John Connor just sends back a tweet.

They are saving a TON of money on production cost.  But when Sarah Connor has to lower her iPhone into molten metal, it's still a heartwarming moment.