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I am adopting Alana as soon as child services takes her away from her creepy-ass mother.
And then I will give her a trophy for being the ABSOLUTE BEST at everything.
First her mom named her Paisley. Then she entered her in beauty pageants. And now she's dressing her like a hooker.
We all like Pretty Woman. Richard Gere plus Julia Roberts' mouth is a great combination. But this clip from Toddlers & Tiaras is just disturbing. No three-year-old should be dressed like a prostitute. Even for Toddlers & Tiaras, this is bad. And that show has lower standards than a frat boy at closing time.
Big mistake, Paisley's mom. BIG. Huge.
"Toddler & Tiaras" is a show on TLC that you should definitely be watching. It's a train wreck. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. It's as if a really big train filled with horrible parents, annoying children, and a lot of fake eyelashes crashed right into your TV screen.
How could you not want to see that?
This is a clip from "Toddler & Tiaras" slowed down. And really that's the only way you'll get the full effect.
If you watch a train wreck at regular speed, you miss all the flying bodies.
There aren't many more validating moments than this classic one from Miss Teen South Carolina.
She may not know anything about maps, but she knows there's a BRAND NEW EPISODE of Tosh.0 THIS THURSDAY at 10p/9c on Comedy Central!