toilet paper

He may not be perfect, but at least he can wipe himself.

[via Izismile]

Indigenous to All-You-Can-Eat Buffets: the Bald, Long-tailed Fat Man.

[via Izismile]

"I know my car is fancy, but deep down I'm actually a really humble turd of a human being."

[via The Clearly Dope]

I hope her roommates are compensated adequately.

[via Happy Place]

…or maybe he's the cleanest.

[via It Makes No Sense]

Dear Friendly Neighbor:

Your package was a let down.

Sincerely,

The Asshole and That Girl That Stopped Calling After Your Third Date

[via Pleated Jeans]

You can also make your own paper towels by duct taping two rolls of toilet paper together. #EvenGeniuser

[P.S.  Bonus points to this guy for using a cutting board.]

[via There, I Fixed It]

"You're also an inconsiderate little bitch who never replaces the toilet paper when it runs out." – Mom

[via I Am Bored]

True, but all the ass you pull is shitty.

[via EPICponyz]

"Why does this always happen when I go out?!  I swear at home I get the toilet paper in the bowl 80% of the time."

[via I Am Bored]