torture

These guys are going to need a serious car wash after these gulls exact their revenge.

I imagine something like this…

[via The Daily What]

Dog mauls owner's face at 18 second mark.

[via BuzzFeed]

I don't know who's into watching some girl's teeth grow out of her face, but someone is because they're watching this garbage online and now I've seen it. Enough already with the time lapse videos.

This little girl is supposed to go through school being mocked for having screwy teeth, be forced to get braces and stop smiling for 4 years while they fix those things. Instead, she's got thousands of YouTube views from a bunch of dental freaks who think this sort of thing is cool. Newflash: it's not! So knock it off!

(Am I being weird because I had braces for eight years and still can't eat corn on the cob like normal people? Absolutely.)

[via The Daily What]

We received over a thousand comments for our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After much deliberation, we picked the following caption from a comment left by johnny timber.

That's Cat Stevens? No wonder he sucked.

Thanks to everyone who submitted!  Check back Monday at 4 pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge where you'll once again have an opportunity to try to prove if you're funnier than Tosh.0!

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text TOSH to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

The making of the next Lady GaGa record.

I first saw the above imagery of a cat being carried up a flight of stairs by some sort of invisible, ghost-like being in GIF form yesterday.  I was intrigued, but embedding a GIF can be a pain my ass, so I figured I'd just let it slide.

This morning, a number of blogs have linked to the video version, so now, I share with you.

If you're wondering what this is, let me explain: It is a master amalgamation!  Someone has combined cat torture and human torture into one glorious 33 second clip.

Supposedly, this was what Artie Lange was watching moments before he stabbed himself nine times.  Can you blame him?

Want to see Daniel Tosh lemonade board comedian Todd Glass to see how long he can take it?

Of course you do.  But the real question is: Can you guess Daniel Tosh and Todd Glass' safeword?

Gvie us your best guess in the comments!

This week's unclaimed domain:

WaterBoreding.com

.

You're watching Fox News (just pretend). It's five pundits rehashing old debates about rendition and Karl Rove. It's boring. It's really boring. You are being "water boreded."

That clever little witticism in dot com form is still up for grabs. We're just as surprised as you are.

Here are some potential uses for waterboreding.com:

• A blog about ways to distract yourself whilst engaging in the most monotonous and inhumane sport on the planet, swimming.
• A database of MP3s to pass the time while torturing someone 266 times.
• A review site about the world?s most interesting beverages.
• A Java game with no way of winning, where you just watch someone wakeboarding from the back of a boat.
• Or, just buy it and forward it to the Tosh.0 Blog!

Last week's Unclaimed Doman, runninglatte.com, was purchased by Vanessa Heckman in a matter of moments! So, act quickly! This post alone will probably give you enough backlinks for 5 or 6 hits.

[Image: dpurdy / CC BY-ND 2.0]

In Queenstown, Maryland, a woman got the "Bush Administration treatment" over a missing iPod. She presumably stole the device. When the owners found out, they held her at knife point, dragged her across a gravel lot and submerged her in a drainage ditch until she told them where it was.

The iPod held a top-secret Grateful Dead taping.

"I am totally outraged to hear that the government took one of the detainees waterboarding 183 times.  Many of us here at Kaua'i have to work two or three jobs just to make ends meet and hardly ever get to go to the beach anymore.  Why should the prisoners get to have all the fun?"

What to make of this?  It's a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

Is the person who wrote the letter to the editor playing a joke on the newspaper?  And if so, did the editor print it as a joke for the readers?  Did he think it was funny because this guy was serious?  Or did he get played by a prankster?  Or did College Humor just make this whole mess up?

Whoops!  Nope.  Here it is.  And people wonder why print media is failing.

[via College Humor]