toys

I guess he finally heard the sound of his own voice.

[via I Heart Chaos]

What are you, a Women's Studies major? Pick a Barbie and let's roll.

[via Reddit]

"Let's make a toy that's the exact opposite of Sarah Jessica Parker."

[via It Makes No Sense]

For kids 8 and up, and unmarried women over 40.

[Via Fail Blog]

Big deal.  The dildo's shoved up against the glass.  No kid's ever gonna be able to grab that.

The trick to the claw is you can't go for what you want; you have to go for what's available.  That's claw 101.

[via Izismile]

Eh, I think we always knew what Elmo's deal was.  I'm more interested to see who's pitching and who's catching with Bert and Ernie.  Let me know when that video hits YouTube.

[via The Daily What]

It will invade your child's heart.

[via Reddit]

Of course Barney's a perv.  He spends all his time playing with little children!

You don't have to be Jerry Sandusky to put the pieces together on this one.

[via IAB]

"What we're doing here today is to try and understand the underlying roots of your alcohol and drug abuse.  Think back to your childhood.  Is there anything your dad use to do?  Maybe steal your toys and play with them himself for hours on end??  Maybe he and his friends would go film a video about your Fisher-Price Power Wheels Barbie Jammin Jeep, laughing to themselves the entire time, while you were balled up in a corner crying??"

[via CollegeHumor]

"We hope that our new line of Pull Along Toys will finally let our customers know just how little of a fuck we give." – CEO of Anmol Toys

[via Izismile]