turtle

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• The Anna Nicole Smith Lifetime movie has a trailer. The photo above is a still from it. 
• A man vs a water cannon. Spoiler Alert: water cannon wins.
• Proof of aliens. Okay maybe not proof. I'm not sure. I don't know what they're saying.
• A pastor says it's a sin to drink Starbucks. A sin on your wallet AMIRIGHT?!
• Turtle tank tops! I think they'll need turtle trucker hats next.
• Tan lines on chicks. Mmm I bet they smell like coconut oil.
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is pregnant. The world yawns.
• A baseball nutshot. Holy balls! That ball hit him in the balls!
• And a town that mails you your dog's poop if you don't pick it up. What's that cost in postage?

[photo via YouTube]

I'm going to be spending my weekend wondering why this is a real thing.

Think you can explain it? Tell us in the comments.

Want to extend your weekend? Check out previous WTFridays!

[via LiveLeak]

Here are all of the clips from tonight's episode that are available on our site:

• This week's Web Redemption was Taxi Dave (above)
• A turtle fell over
• We checked out some eyeball snot
• A kid got cocky with his pogo stick show and tell
• We put 20 seconds on the clock for a stretcher fail
• A redneck made a bonfire in this week's Video Breakdown
• Daniel showed us his favorite Subreddits
• And Daniel had Thanksgiving dinner with his fans.

Your weekly guide to the source material used in this week's episode of Tosh.0.

• Turtle Orgasm
• Propeller Girl (above)
• Hammer Hand
• Walk Off Home Run
• Demolition Cars
• Video Breakdown raw clip: Male Stripper
• How To Catch A Kangaroo
• Web Redemption raw clip: Rock Climber Fail
• Lucky at Gas Pump
• Fem Skin
• A Jew Touches Ham

The race to turtle heaven. Which I assume is filled with pizza and girls that look like April O'Neil.

[thanks Alaina]

Last Thursday, we showed you "Chicken Riding Tortoise" and asked you to give us a better title.

We picked five of our favorites and now it's your chance to vote on a winner.

Vote below! Then check back this Thursday for the results and a new video.

This video is called "Chicken Riding Tortoise."  Something, slow cock, something.  This'll be easy.  Have fun with it.

Think you got a funnier name for this video? Let us know in the comments! Then check back on Tuesday at noon for the vote off!

The winner of this week's Rename This Video Vote was Karen Acuna Wilcox with her title, "He may scare crows, but he doesn't scare ho's."  It's funny because crows and hos rhyme.  Congratulations, Karen!

"I wish that tortoise would stop chasing me around!  I also wish I could walk.  But at this point I'd settle for the tortoise not chasing me around."

[via The Clearly Dope]

The hare wasn't going to lose this time.  He ordered a hit to have the tortoise taken out Nancy Kerrigan-style.

"This Florida softshell has done more for reptiles of the order Testudines than any creature before him." -Turtle President

[via Dog and Pony Show]