turtle

First, I gave you a turtle riding a Roomba.

Now, I present to you a dog riding a turtle.

All I need is a video of a Roomba riding a dog to complete the circle!

Unfortunately, both "Roomba riding a dog" and "Roomba on a dog" yield no results on Google.  So go strap a Roomba to the back of your dog and record that shit so I can complete the circle!

This is not a game.

[via The Daily What]

But wait!  There's more!

If you act now, you can get two additional turtle-riding-Roomba videos at no extra cost.

Actually, there is a cost… a cost to your dignity.

Stop torturing your turtles, society.

[via Cynical-C]

Crasher Squirrel be damned!  In my mind, August 2009 will forever be remembered as the month turtle sex went viral.

The one above is a personal favorite, though there are plenty more where that came from.

Even statues are getting in on the action (as you can see below).

So yeah, I woke up this morning to discover that turtle sex has reached critical mass on the Internet.  If that isn't a sign of the End of Days, I don't know what is.

Well, End of Days for humans.  With all that reproduction, seems like the turtles will survive for quite some time.

What does the above image look like to you?

If you said "a young boy having sex with a pleasantly surprised turtle," then your head is in the same place as a Reddit user who saw this image on Wikipedia and posted a link to it, questioning, "Seriously… Is This A Statue Of Some Kid F—ing A Turtle?!?"

That is the big question…

The Reddit post generated well over 200 comments, driving traffic to the Wikipedia article on the fountain (officially known as Burnside Fountain), which was swiftly vandalized (on the web, not IRL).  Not long after the article was unceremoniously locked, with the note "Protected Burnside Fountain: Excessive vandalism: – link on popular website."

And so is the life of a Wikipedia article — at once informative and mock worthy: A balance so easily destroyed by vandals.

So, yeah, this is pretty much just a guy bangin' a turtle, right??