twitter tales

"Breaking Glass"
-Writing a song, tweaking it out but.. I love it. But I hate it. It almost hurts to sing… damnit!
-And I can't sing for shit. Kittens die every time I attempt to carry a note.
-Somebody call 911………..Don´t worry I´m just singing this song Hehe it has been stuck in my head since yesteday!
[unintentionally composed by: @victoriaortega, @kissmydaisy, @dianagonewrong]

"Someone Not Racist"
-Often, I wish I was someone else for a day, so I could feel what it's like to be looked at and talked to in a way I've wished to experience.
-lol thing is, i'd much prefer white guys. I mean the ocassional asian guy may be appealing but white guys for me lol
-that sounded bad, I'm seriously not racist!
[unintentionally composed by: @kindaooooh, @thisisanna, @CarleyShea]

"New Beginnings"
-i've decided i'm completely giving up meat. (:
-Cute mexican butcher….Yay i have a new favorite store
-Damn… I guess I better take that back huh
[unintentionally composed by: @ariel_all_over, @JewJewBees101, @latin_goddess]

"Tweetdating"
HER- …I don't think you realise how charming you are and how any woman would be very lucky to have such a genuinely nice guy…
HIM-thanks, but I don't do online dating. Too much like catalogue shopping.
HER-It's been months and more than a dozen twitter "dating" sites, online dating does not seem to work on twitter world
[unintentionally composed by @theReviewGuy, @ morgancarpenter, @samanthaglancy]

"Bye, Dog."
-My dog literally ate my laundry. She threw up 4 socks. Vet says more socks = $1000 surgery. Not an investment we're willing to make.
-hahahahaha. oh, i don't know whether to feel bad or *great* about that! =)
-i love just washing my clothes. one load thats it :D
[unintentionally composed by @jessica_mckee, @charophoto, @lilruby2010]

-I'm really bad at this whole dating business! I wish it was like school, where you get a syllabus/course outline. *sigh*
-I was just guessing numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart. Questions of science and progress, did not speak as loud as my Heart
-#sowhat if i've lost count of how many people i have slept with?

[unintentionally composed by @lillaboogie, @Chefington, @missbonerkill]

"Allergies"
-Just saw my crazy ex driving around… I thought moving got me away from the crazys! AHH!
-swollen eyelids :(
-I'm feeling sick. Think it's an allergic reaction to reality

[unintentionally composed by @swaldock, @dianalimmingli, @triciaruth]

"Boring"
-I'm gonna watch a movie. Same old boring life. Need a spark
-night in ironing…. fuck me i'm a boring b@stard
-Hi everybody… Fb and Twi…i'm so boring..:P
-Yes, I know I have a sad life :'(

[unintentionally composed by @roffntoff, @tuftypope, @Thayrii, @VNGUYEEN]

Twitter is a site where you can let the world know "what you're doing" at your choosing. Unfortunately, "what you're doing" isn't always that interesting. But Twitter Tales can help. Here are three fun stories made up from real, random tweets that we've found online, finally making your tweets somewhat interesting.

"Deal!"

Me: " I'll trade you one toe nail clipping for two arm pit hairs."
You: "I'll trade you one dream of yours for two nightmares of mine, see there's one where I die, and then there's one where we all die"
Me: "Ha. Sounds like a good trade. I'll try to share it on the show today."
You: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Wish I were able to make good decisions… it sure would help out in life… till then I'll remain an asshole"
You: "uhh okay ;)"

[unintentionally composed by @Ianshordon , @TomDoyon, @magickhooly , @ anika_2305, @JaneLindholm, @Capa33]

"Horny Hotties"

-I think I'm having an emotional meltdown due to lack of sleep, lack of alone time, high stress, & need for home.
-No idea what I am going to do….
-Okay, who sent the horny honnies after me? I know I've been complaining about stress, but really y'all. You shouldn't have.

[unintentionally composed by @leleana, @moirarogersbree, @MikeyFridays123]

"Squeaky Clean"

-I'm in over my head with Midge. Way over. All night cleaning frenzy coming up. Yeesh.
-just cleaned out the fridge and gave it a good bath. now it smells like flowers instead of grossness.
-I'm up and at it.. Scrubbing and putting everything and everybody in their proper place… LOL
-Just gave Salene a major bubble bath in the jacoozi. She said it was the best bath she ever had.
-So I just took a hot bubble bath & a hot shower. Still haven't slept. But I do feel squeaky clean
-I think it's finally time to try and sleep. See you for coffee

[courtesy of @ohhellobaby, @jesmy, @mznez1, @Jamaree, @erdisteee, @warren_bennett]