United States

"Hi, Mr. President?  Can we invade Canada?  I'm getting way too much sunlight in my left eye."

(FYI, you can buy them on Amazon by wasting a mere $208.)

[via ianbrooks]

Yes, Wisconsin has the highest percentage, but South Dakota and Tennessee were so fucking hammered they forgot to even fill out the report.

[source The Daily / via The High Definite]

America, where the lazy white guy always ends up on top.

We received nearly a thousand comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After looking at your likes, we picked the caption above from a comment left by Josh Balcerzak.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Check back Monday at 4pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

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"Yes, there's no draft, but you still have to let me use you as an armrest."

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

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[photo: Ramin Talaie/Stringer/Getty Images]

The blog Bits and Pieces revisited this Wikipedia image above showing countries that have officially adopted the metric system (in green) and those who have not.

As stated on Wikipedia, "Only three nations have not officially adopted the International System of Units as their primary or sole system of measurement: Burma, Liberia, and the United States."  Like it's some sort of guilt trip or something.  I thought Wikipedia was supposed to be unbiased!

Haven't we gotten over this whole metric system debate?

Let me reiterate, anything that's good enough for Myanmar is good enough for me.

And also, what about Antarctica?  Yeah, the giant gray area at the bottom of the map?  Why isn't anyone giving them shit for not adopting the metric system?  If that map is to scale that place is like 100 thousand furlongs wide!  Why's no one on their case.

Here's what I'm thinking: The U.S. will adopt the metric system when Antarctica does.  Deal?

According to some recent research done by Peter Warden, and as reported by GigaOM, it appears you can break up Facebook users into seven distinct and geographically-relevant groups.

Pete gave each region its own distinct name and then encouraged them to fight in a battle royale brawl to the death!

That's not true: Pete seems like a nice enough guy.  But I wonder whether it's a good idea to point out these Facebook differences?  Doesn't the Northeast (aka Stayathomia) already have enough to squabble over with the South (aka Dixie)?

We have the Big East, they have the SEC.  We have White Castle, they have Krystal.  We have a permanent air of moral and intellectual superiority, they have a flag that offends us.

Facebook is supposed to bring people together online, not reinforce physical boundaries that already exist.  Sure, the Mormons like to congregate in Utah, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends on Facebook!

That said, Stayathomia representin', bitches!!!  We da best on Facebook!!  Nomadic West can suck it!

[via The Daily What]

The above image has been popular this week on the web after Steven Von Worley created this graphic and posted it on his blog, Weather Sealed.

The lights on the map represent the geographic location of every one of the 13,000 plus McDonald's restaurants in the United States, effectively showing how densely the fast food burger chain covers our country.

Oddly enough, however, the map also doubles as a reference on where in America you can find a family of 9 living in a dwelling no larger than 200 total square feet.

Go figure.