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[via Eat Liver]
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He got the tattoo to commemorate all the years he's been taking advantage of Walmart's five finger discounts.
Hey, it's one of the first rules of business: You gotta go where your customers are.
Like her shirt says, "I have no idea I'm six months pregnant."
Step 1:†Clean pitz and ass
Step 2: Invite hot chick over
Step 3: Feed her tuna sammies with a side of tuna tacos
Step 4: Wrap dong
Step 5: Do the nazasty
If you're looking for a bra, go to aisle 7. And then walk past it into the warehouse where we keep the forklifts.
Do you have to clap along to dream-crushing raps every morning?
"Young man, young girl, welcome to Wally World. You're gonna be a cashier someday."
"I'm sorry, Bob. I'm going to have to stop you there. I have an engineering degree. This job is temporary."
"Of course, son. Just clap along anyway. Team work is fun work. Now put on your apron."
Look. I'm like you. I want to make fun of these people.
But I'll tell you what, I'll take this humble couple with their "amazing," "perfect" wedding over some bridezilla whore any day.† I've been to a lot of weddings in my life and not once have I given a fuck about a flower arrangement.
As long as there's an open bar, your wedding scores an A+.† And judging by the look of the groom, this wedding had an open bar.
Plus, I've heard if you don't like your wife, Walmart has a great return policy.
[via Viral Viral Videos]
Whoa.† You were "horrified"?
Maybe you should spend less time thinking about yourself and more time thinking about showing courtesy to others.† Or maybe you should spend a lot more time thinking about yourself and realize you look ridiculous walking around like that in public.† The differences between self-confidence and dignity can be subtle, but they exist.
However the story ends on a happy note: She says she'll "never shop at Walmart again."† That's one terrible Walmart customer down, millions to go.
By the way, Molly Blancett, you can wear that black bikini top in my Walmart any day.† Rawr.
"I wanted to demo the product in the outfit I'll be wearing when I use it." -That lady
"But they told me I had to keep my bra on." -That lady, too
[via Clearly Dope]
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