weddings

"Really, dude? Yellow Converse at your own wedding?" – guy dressed as bat

[via The Chive]

Lisa, this is Cheryl's day. Can't you wait 'til tomorrow to flaunt your enormous throat?

[via The Chive]

I wonder if this guy is available for his own upcoming funeral?

[Via I-Am-Bored]

Is this how they did it in the Middle Ages?

Something tells me she hasn't always had that chastity belt on.

via reddit

I heard about this groom that stopped his wedding at the altar to update his Facebook status and almost fell over. Am I an old lady, or is this just plain wrong?

I feel like I need to get a porch so I can go out on it and scream at the neighborhood kids to get outside and start throwing baseballs through my window. Is this what we've become? A bunch of technologically crippled dolts who can't even get married without having our cells on our person!? I long for the days we just did things without telling the world, especially our "long lost" high school friends we've found on Facebook.

I'm going to go put on my old lady robe, my hair in curlers, and pout about not having a porch, but before I do, I'm going to tell everyone on Twitter.

God save us all.

[via Dlisted]

The Internet seems to be obsessed with "steampunk."

What is "steampunk," you might ask?

How should I know?  It's the WWWs that seem to care so much about it, so I figured I'd turn to them for answers.

Wikipedia states: "Steampunk is a sub-genre of fantasy [that] denotes works set in an era or world where steam power is still widely used…but with prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy…or real technological developments like the computer occurring at an earlier date."

Ok.  So, for example, to your right, you can see an image that's been circulating on the web of a "steampunk wedding cake."

Based on the knowledge I have now gleaned from Wikipedia, we can determine that this cake looks ridiculous because in the days of steam power, people didn't have the tools to make a proper wedding cake.

It's all starting to make sense.  Though part of me thinks the real "steam" that they love so much is just being blown up my proverbial ass.

[via The Daily What]

The only thing that could possibly make weddings more annoying is the Internet. As soon as a wedding gets announced, plans and coordination overflow by email, sentimental photo albums flood Facebook and, these days, the couple usually makes a whole freaking website for themselves. But Ben and Joanna, a couple tracked down by LemonDrop, have one piece of wedding media that's tolerable. It's this slideshow.

Wedding slideshows are boring. The only things worth watching during a wedding slideshow are the melodramatic hams who cry during them. Luckily, Ben and Joanna left it up to a smart-ass groomsman to piece this PowerPoint together, and he peppered Barack Obama throughout their relationship by using Photoshop.

Unfortunately, this groomsman tried the same gag in a video for a friend's "civil union" ceremony. The joke didn't go over as well.

If this guy were smart, he'd be running out that church right now.
A lifetime of that woman's laugh is a lifetime of pain.

In under a week, this video has received over a million views.

DO NOT WATCH THE ABOVE VIDEO!!!!! Do not encourage people!!

Look, 99.9% of wedding videos are terrible.  Your wedding was not special.  There'll be another wedding in that exact same location the following Saturday.  There was a wedding there the Saturday before.  Unless you got married in the middle of the Antarctic, there were probably five more weddings down the street.

I don't care how many people view the above abomination, the only reason your wedding video would be of value to anyone is if you happened to catch a glimpse of MJ collapsing in the background or it's admissible as evidence in a murder trial. That's it.  …or if someone trips and their groin goes flying into your wedding cake.  "Frosting Balls," I would title that video.

That's it!

So do not encourage people to try to make their wedding videos funny so they can be popular on YouTube for 3 weeks before no one cares again.  Don't watch wedding videos online: If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem!