wishes

The Internet is very into cats.  But at Tosh.0, we tend to be kind of anti-cat.

So for all of the cat people out there who don't get enough cat action on the Tosh.0 blog, I decide to get you a special Christmas card.

Here's Christmas wishes to you and your cat, you sad pathetic loner.

[via The High Definite]

[Kinda NSFW]

If a genie granted me three wishes right now they would be as follows:

I wish for a million dollars

I wish for a lifetime of happiness

I wish for Kid Farm to be a real show

I know, I know. I could have wished for world peace. But money can't buy happiness and happiness can't buy money so I had to make those two wishes separately and that only left room for one more. And obviously Kid Farm needs to be wished into existence. Because it is brilliant.

If everyone just started watching Kid Farm they'd stop fighting and hating and we would achieve world peace. I'm sure of it. So, in the end, I've wished for that as well. We all win.

[via BWE]

Meet this guy! On second thought, maybe you shouldn't.

Holy mother of Puff Daddies! According to this video and its description, this guy REALLY wants to meet Puff. Like really really.

Mr Diddy if you see this video please give me a chance to meet you once please
i have been working hard on these million sheets thousands thousands notebooks for 4 years please understand..you viewers might laugh but its all abt my dream.
life is really short please accept. my request

whoever connect me with badboyrecords or Mr Diddy or take me to them i will pay $5000

God bless

Eeeeeee. That's nine minutes of notebooks. Nine. I'm sweating over here.

Do we tell Puffy, call the police or just keep it a dark internet secret? I vote secret. What about you guys?

[via reddit]

Here is a great reason to put your old birthday footage on the web for everyone to see: Allowing others to laugh at your pain.

This man learned a valuable lesson: Birthday wishes can come true even before you blow out the candles.

That's why you have to be careful not to think I wish someone would kill me so I don't have to listen to these idiots' horrible singing any longer!

[via Blog of Hilarity]