www

Would you believe if I told you, that you can buy a descendant of Jesus Christ himself's Mercedes?

You should. Check out the specs on this thing!

*Owner's Belief: he's a descendant of Roman Emperors, and just as well Jesus Christ (what's that worth?!)
He's written over 180 reasons why he thinks this is true (he'll provide a copy – over nine pages hand written – to you with your nonrefundable deposit of at least 25% towards the purchase of the vehicle, and thus subsequent agreement hereto of 2% royalties of Gross Sales Revenue, assumable-indefinitely-transferal, to the Owner herein in the event of authorized or unauthorized publication). Come on… Muhammad has descendants… it's not that big of a deal. And yes, the owner thanks the Roman Catholic Church for keeping Christ's descendants protected through the obliteration veil (how would you treat Jesus Christ's children? In effect through Jesus Christ's teaching, we're all God's children).

SERIOUS OFFERS ONLY
Dear blessed Millionaire: just think of this purchase as giving back to God's children and works as a form of tithing. The owner promises to put the money to good use (Real Estate Development blessed in Jesus Christ's name).
God bless you Mercedes Benz concierge!

We are all God's children. Unfortunately, we aren't all blessed with 100 grand to buy a 20 year-old benz. Even if Christ's grand nephew has 180 reasons why we should.

I mean, the Internet is insanity, right? Complete and utter insanity. Compared to this, Craigslist seems like my reasonable aunt — she knows a lot about life. Sweet Jesus!

So go ahead and PLACE YOUR BID!

[via Awesomely]

Wow! Look at how fun the internet used to be for kids!

Too bad it's turned into a YouTube free for all where kids across the country are ruining their lives by forever digitally embedding their mark on the world with horrible vlogs and web comments. I'd love to see some kid get denied a job in 2064 for writing hundreds of comments like "I hope you die this video sux and has no point!!!!!!!!" that he wrote when he was nine and can never erase. I wonder if they cover that in this book. At least we didn't have the internet when I was too young to voice my opinion in a public forum. Now I'm older and have a job where I can do it on daily basis. Guess it all works out.

[via SloshSpot]