xxx

And by "follow your dreams," we mean "finance your coke habit."

[via Break]

"Oh good! They're making a Simpsons porn parody." – No one

"I was hoping someone would take this one untarnished thing from my childhood and sexualize it." – No one

"I've always kind of thought Marge was hot." - You, probably

[via Gawker.TV]

It's a common complaint: "I can't find porn on the Internet."

Well, the days of confusion might soon be coming to a close as ICANN, the organization that oversees domain names, is looking to approve ".xxx" for use.

".xxx" would be just like ".com" except that to get a ".xxx" domain, you'd have to give the head of ICANN a tug job.  And film it.  And then post it on your brand new ".xxx" website.

The possibility of dot xxx domains has stirred up controversy, however.  Like what if someone purchases a .xxx domain but then doesn't put any porno on it?

Then what??  THEN WHAT WILL SOCIETY DO?!?

[via Mashable]

This site isn't totally safe for work, but that's only if you're a nerd. It's "Moan My IP!" The website that moans — you guessed it — your I.P. address. I can't think of a higher level of dork porn. It's like getting a personalized porn for your laptop! For your actual laptop.

Here's their own explanation of the site:

Finding your IP Address is essential to understanding your Online Privacy. So why not make it fun and sexy? Personal Information about you and your computer is revealed to every Web Site that you visit. This information can be linked with other information and used for things like Identity Theft and other types of Cybercrime.

Right, guys. Cybercrime is WAY sexy, and your explanation makes no sense at all! But who cares? How could you justify a moaning woman's voice reading an I.P. address anyway?

No one ever questioned the pizza delivery guy porn plot, did they? Moan away, computer lady, because someone incredibly dorky out there is actually enjoying this.

It's embarrassing when someone finds porn DVD's in your house, but WAY more embarrassing if you're IN the porn.  This site sells personalized prank porn DVD's for a pretty reasonable $15, which is a small price to pay for an awesome huge prank.  Titles to choose from include Young Buns, Men in Back, Transexuals, and Charlie's Anal.  Amazing.

Here's an example of one I'm planning on making for my Uncle Rick.  I added a bunch of extra faces for effect.

This will make Thanksgiving wayyy more interesting this year.

[via UniqueDaily]

Whether or not you're here for our 'Porn Spoiler Database' because you were smart and watched Tosh.0 tonight, we're glad you came.

No pun intended.

All you have to do is type in the name of a porn movie, and we'll tell you what happens.  Go!

Warning: Intended for mature audiences only.

I know it's shocking to hear, but there was a time the internet didn't exist.  

But as soon as it did, there was internet porn.  Some even believe the reason high speed connections were created was specifically for internet porn.  

But what did people do before they could indulge in this high speed technological miracle in the privacy of their studio apartments?

TUNE INTO COMEDY CENTRAL TOMORROW AT 10/9C FOR A NEW EPISODE OF TOSH.0!!!