yahoo answers

Uh, no.  I urinate on my wife or child with 100% accuracy.

[via Izismile]

Somebody get Julz' boyfriend a totem. Stat!

[via Buzzfeed]

And this is one of them. Holy shit, Remmy.

I think the real question here is, why are toaster ovens so small? If you add a toaster to an oven, shouldn't it be at least as big as the oven?

I guess to put it into simplest terms, How come a toaster plus an oven is a toaster oven but then my toaster oven is only the size of my microwave which is way smaller than my oven?

[via IHC]

I am having so much goddamn fun playing that 13-year-old's game right now.

[via Reddit]

Only stupid assholes.

[via i-a-b]

So, um, outside of the escalation between academic cheaters and their teachers, um, what else escalated?  Like maybe with hippies?

You haven't given me enough here; I have to write 2 pages.

You should know that.  You assigned the paper.

[via Reddit]

Thanksgiving naturally brings with it a number of questions for the uninitiated.  What's a pilgrim?  Where's a Mayflower?  Buckles on a hat??  And so on.

Typically, when confusion hits, the Internet is a good place to turn.  It's full of amazing 'pedias and other smoke and mirror tricks.

However, some questions are just so far out of left field that even the masterminds behind the world wide web can't solve them!

We dug through two of the most popular user-generated Q&A sites — Answers.comand Yahoo! Answers— to bring you six of the most awesomely terrible questions ever asked about Thanksgiving!

See our list after the jump? more...

Is 63 too old to Trick or Treat? I think as long as he goes alone, it won't be creepy at all. Leave your answers and opinions in the comments before the big day tomorrow!

An important detail that one answerer noted: This question was filed under "Dining in San Francisco." Keep that in mind as you leave an answer to it in the comments.

[via BuzzFeed]

Please, tell me more!:

Before going out with my girlfriend I was kind of obsessed with her. I took pictures I had of her and scanned them into a japanese program that creates a 3d model of her which you can then ummmm… have your way with. Ahem.

I made about 50 different videos with this software, most of them were of her making love and performing oral sex on a 3d model of myself, and sometimes multiple versions of me. Others involved machines….you get the idea.

I eventually worked up the courage to talk to her and we ended up hitting it off and are now a couple, the problem is that she used my computer and ended up finding the vids even though they were buried inside multiple folders. Of course she was pretty freaked out, especially since the titles of the vids were needlessly crude on my part. She said she had to leave and needs some time alone.
If the program had options for making cuddling on the couch and walking through a park while holding hands videos there would have been far more of those, I hope she doesnt think that I view her as some kind of sexual object because I truly do love her

How can I smooth this over with her?

Yeah, I bet the needlessly crude titles were what freaked her out.

I'd love to hear your advice in the comments, but I doubt you'll be able to do better than the current winner at Yahoo Answers:

Pull your dick out and bounce it off of her forehead.