youtube

YouTube launched its highly anticipated rental store today and let me just say, meh. They've got a Popular Movies section which includes hits like Rodger Dodger, Pi, and Saw III. And those are just the films featured on the home page.

Then they've got a Popular Shows section with all your favorites, including but not limited to, the Sands of Destruction cartoon, the Global Treasures travel show, and your all-time fave show Views on World Poverty.

What will you watch first? I think I'll start by watching all 12 episodes of the anime cartoon Destiny of the Shrine Maiden. Or should I watch the documentary on Benedictine life? Shit.

So many choices!!!

I fear change.  I'm like deeply, psychologically disturbed by it.  I was not made to adapt: God hardwired me to avoid even the slightest fluctuations in my environment like some endangered Amazonian toad.

So this new YouTube design freaks me out.  Is it just me or does it seem like everything is just floating about in mid-air?  There are no borders holding anything together, as if an influx of illegal alien videos could just pour on over at any moment from another window.

And what happened to the 5 star system?!  That system was the only way to know if a video was of any quality!  Anything less than 4 stars I refused to watch.  Now it's just a free-for-all!

Okay, that last part is sarcasm.  But I still hate the redesign.

This is composer Eric Whitacre's virtual choir he arranged from 185 amateur musicians' submitted clips. He acts as the virtual conductor in this YouTube video that represents 12 countries.

The result is very touching. Commenters have described the video as "amazing", "wonderful", and "brilliant". It's YouTube art, really.

And it serves as your daily reminder that you are not using the Internet to do anything cool. Alright, I'm going to go back to looking at pictures of babies dressed as evil dictators. You resume playing Bloons Super Monkey. We'll meet back here in an hour to make fun of Justin Bieber.

It's YouTube's strongest woman, personal trainer Kathy Bertram. She bends frying pans, breaks baseball bats, rips license plates, and eat babies. OK, maybe not the last one.

But if you watch her videos on YouTube you'll see that she really is quite a beast. And yet, she curtsies after each display of power so there's something very adorable about it all.

Go ahead, check out her page. Unless you're scared of being out-manned by a girl!

This is something to celebrate, ladies. Because she's a woman but she's also bad-ass. We don't just shop and cook and wear pretty make-up. We crush cans, too.

Show us your tits! I mean, muscles.

[via Urlesque]

We are the people of the Internet! Except, I'm a bit confused by what the BBC thinks we do all day on here.

Are we in dialogue with leaders? LOL, Obama, WTF was Michele wearing during that press conference?

Are we helping scientists find cures for diseases? Here, show that sick guy this video of a cat. It's adorable.

Are we helping to preserve the planet's most precious resources? If by preserve you mean carve into the shape of a peen, then yeah.

I guess we are making a difference in the world!

As for the peace thing. There is no place more peaceful than Selleck Waterfall Sandwich.

Just don't tell the BBC about Cooter Kicks. That may have been a step in the wrong direction. World peace!

[via Geekologie]

YouTube is trying out a new closed captions feature that may possibly be your new favorite waste of time.

Some videos are now available with automated captions provided by Google's speech recognition software. Just like Google Buzz, no testing is necessary. The service is peeerfect.

In the scene above, Neil Patrick Harris is either saying that Jennifer Lopez is easy on the eyes or that it is easy to be a missing child. Either way, he's right.

In this scene, the sentence is captioned all wrong but the best part is that 'first date' was transcribed as 'Pentagon Thursday'. That sounds like a government cafeteria special. Mmm, don't forget to bring an extra $2.50 to lunch tomorrow, it's Pentagon Thursday!

See the full video here and make sure to click CC on. And watch another hilariously captioned video by clicking here. And here Mariska Hargitay allen jumps from a prison clinic, or something that sounds like that.

[via Dlisted]

I like auto-tuned videos as much as the next girl, if the next girl isn't really that into them.

But this is different. This music video takes the auto-tune cake. The concept is simple. The execution is brilliant. And the catchy lyrics are bound to get your feet tapping.

Wilbur Sargunaraj has got some killer moves, a great voice, and a sweet, sweet 'stache.

He makes me want to order Saag Paneer and watch Slumdog Millionaire beneath a spinning disco ball. And I haven't done that in months.

If you are like me, you dreamed of being on the news when you grew up. You taped concocted news stories to your mirror to practice your ?concerned yet emotionally-detached? facial expression. You reported the local traffic and giggled with an imaginary co-anchor, usually played by your life-size Barbie.

Then you grew up and realized that being a news anchor is a really shitty profession and there is a much easier, and equally satisfying, alternative that doesn?t require you to wake up at 4:00 am everyday.

You don?t need a Telecom degree and a cameraman. Just you and webcam will do.

And you definitely don?t need a news studio. The living room of your grandparents? condo in Florida will suffice.

The best part? It only takes 25 seconds to become a star.

4 years of journalism school, Matt Lauer? Waste. Of. Time.

Watch more breaking news segments after the jump. (If you've got a free half minute.)

more...

Congratulations to Danboe, creator of last night's Tosh.0 Viewer Video of the Week!

If you missed it or can't get enough of VCR Hack!, check out the video above.

And don't forget to submit your own videos for your chance to be the next Viewer Video on Tosh.0.

The Internet loves awkward politics! And come on, so do you. That?s why this video of Rep. Nancy Elliott of New Hampshire discussing intercourse between two men will be the perfect way to start your Presidents Day!

Elliott?s description of gay sex is hilarious. I especially like her use of the word ?wiggling?. But my favorite part of this video is the blatant disregard the two people on either side of her are showing.

They are flipping through their papers as if this is a topic they cover every day. ?There goes Nancy. Describing butt sex again. Lame!"

"Move on, Elliott. This excrement talk is such a bore.?