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"Oh my God.† I'm sooo sorry.† I coulda sworn you were Emma Stone."
[via The Daily What]
We can learn a lot from Kristen Stewart.
We can learn the small things. Like if you need to convey nervousness, thoughtfulness, or lust, bite your lip. Or if you need to convey confusion, embarrassment, or indifference, touch your hair.
But we can also learn the big things. Like the story of Christmas.
Happy, um, holidays. Everybody.
The worst thing in the world is to be rich and famous and dating a guy that every other girl dreams of. It's even more unbearable when movie roles just keep getting offered to you.
Being wildly successful and popular can be hard. Especially because sometimes people want you to speak. You know, when you're accepting awards and stuff.
So if you need pointers on the art of speechmaking, take them from reluctant starlet Kristen Stewart. She was forced into the spotlight. But she may as well sell a few DVDs while she's there.
[via Tastefully Offensive]
I don't know who taught Miljenko Parserisas how to be a crazy stalker but it certainly wasn't me. Because I know the best way to get near your favorite celebs is to act like you have no idea who they are.
The first time I met Enrique Iglesias (yes, at this moment I am admitting that Enrique Iglesias is among my favorite celebs), I was all like, "Enrique who? Igalayseeus? Sounds familiar. Are you a singer?" And he was all like, "Yes, we're backstage at my concert. You're holding my concert ticket in your hand." And I was all like, "Yeah. Thought your name rang a bell."
Nailed it. That's how stalk a famous person.
Miljenko, on the other hand, isn't getting within 500 feet of Julia Roberts.
Well, we can't all have an underwear drawer filled with signed guitar picks.
But a knocked up, engaged movie star can only laugh for so long before wedding planning and morning sickness turn those dorky giggles into unending sobs.
Bring on the supercut.
As I have stated many, many times in the past, I work in Hollywood.† (Well, not literally.)
As someone who understands the "Hollywood system," allow me to explain the recent phenomenon known as Anne Sellors.
How do you suddenly gain 4 million times more interest in your acting career in a matter of just a few days?† It's quite simple actually, and I've added some notation to her IMDB page to help explain it.
First, note that she hasn't acted in over 25 years.† This is called "playing hard to get" or "making your adoring audience wait."† By not accepting any offers — passing up roles I can only assume she received requests to play such as Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs or Beth Wagner in Road Trip — she built what we in the industry call "buzz."† Brilliant.
Second, as you can see, she chose to start her career in television.† Genius!† The small screen is an obvious stepping stone to the "big" screen.† That's just how screens work.† It's science.
Third, she went uncredited — another major coup.† By not getting your name out there, you avoid the possibility that someone might sully it.† Hollywood superstars regularly get their images dragged through the mud by paparazzi and general public alike.† Keeping your name off the credits will guarantee that you won't become the next Miley Cyrus — despised by everyone!
But most importantly is the role: "Woman who urinates herself."† How powerful was Anne Sellors' performance?† So powerful, they didn't even give her character a name.† Her acting ability was so strong, they could simply refer to her character by her action!† Astonishing!
Pay close attention to the life and career of Anne Sellors, aspiring thespians!† There is so much that can be learned from her.
Sandra Bullock has achieved a milestone.
After accepting the award for Best Actress at last night's Academy Awards for her performance in The Blind Side, she became the first person ever to win both an Oscar and a Razzie in the same year.
Seen above is Bullock's acceptance speech at the Golden Raspberry Awards just a few days earlier.† The Razzies acknowledge the worst performances of the year, and she took home this year's Worst Actress award for her turn in All About Steve.
I've never been particularly fond of Sandra Bullock, but in accepting both her Oscar and her Razzie, something has become abundantly clear…
Bitch loves money.† And God bless her for it.
Sandra Bullock is a 45-year-old woman.† How many movies are made each year in Hollywood?† Maybe a few hundred?† Now, how many of those movies feature a lead actress who is 45 years old?† Now, of those movies, how many people are willing to pay Sandra Bullock's ridiculously high price tag just so they can have the benefit of saying they have a movie starring Sandra Bullock??
When someone comes knocking on your door with a multi-million dollar check to do something even you are surprised you're still being paid to do, you just keep taking those checks until your luck runs out and let the chips fall where they may.† Who cares about what check comes from where?† If you do enough flicks, a few of them are bound to be decent.
Who gives a crap about the critics anyway?† How many of them have an estimated fortune of $85 million?† Hell, how many of them no longer rent a room from their parents?
[via The Daily What]
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