The goo is actually a delightful raspberry confit!
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She's from Florida, and her name is Shardonnay. There's no way this kid WASN'T going to be born in a McDonald's bathroom.
The newborn was promptly rinsed off in the ball pit and swaddled in McMuffin wrappers.
Phenomenon prompts genius new MTVChina hit, "Two And Pregnant With My Parasitic Twin Brother".