leash

"I told you, Timmy: wishing for a better life only makes the bag feel tighter."

[via Acid Cow]

It's all fun and games until he teaches it to roll over.

[via reddit]

"Oh, shit. Where's the dog?"

[via I Am Bored]

So after last night's world premiere of Happy Thoughts, Daniel's riding pretty high…

But here on the blog, Carly and I are still in charge, and the only "riding" I like to see is animals riding on top of other animals.

Luckily, last night Reddit served up this photo of a rat riding on top of a cat riding on top of a dog.

Writing for the Tosh.0 blog might not be equivalent to having your own stand-up special, but yeah, things are going pretty damn good…  Pretty damn good indeed…

[via Reddit]

We received hundreds of comments for our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After much deliberation, we picked the following caption from a comment left by Adam.

Don't laugh.  His wife is at home drowning the dog.

Thanks to everyone who submitted!  Check back Monday at 4 pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge!

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text TOSH to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

"Last time, I took him out of the tank and that went a lot worse."

This video is titled "Why people don't walk cats," but I'm glad they are at least trying to walk their cat.

Cats have gotten a free ride for too long.  If my parents didn't yell at me to wake up every morning, I probably never would have gone to school.  I would have just been like, "Who cares!  I'm sleeping!  Screw you!"

But they forced me to go, and I got a good education, and look at me now: I'm a big-time Hollywood player!

Maybe if we encouraged cats to get off their lazy asses and start walking, they'd have something better than a couple lame websites and an annoying musical.  I dream of a day when motivated cats could star in a hit Hollywood blockbuster.

I mean — Jesus — look at this list of the "Top 5 Movies About Cats."  Gross.

Pull yourselves together, cats!  Your work is terrible!!

[via Blame It On The Voices]

This controversial video of a woman dragging her child across the floor on what appears to be a leash is awesome.

Is she a horrible or awesome mother? I'm never going to have kids, so I don't care. But at the very least, if this kid doesn't learn anything from this, he's going to be real embarrassed when this video plays at his wedding or some other stupid occasion people show home movies. So bravo for that, mom.

What do you guys think? Would you do this?

[via UniqueDaily]